Mothers Day

Mothers Day is Sunday.  As much as I would love to be able to 100% enjoy myself I dont know that I will be able to.  I keep going back to Mothers Day 2007.  The worst Mothers Day ever.  It was about 5:30 in the morning and my cell phone was ringing.  It was my mom....from down stairs.  She sounded like she was in pain so I ran down the stairs to see what was wrong.  She said her stomach was hurting her.  I asked her if she needed anything.  She said she had been trying to call me for a couple hours.  I had no idea.  I felt horrible.  I remember going to get her ginger ale and banana popsicles.  Those two things she wanted when she was sick.  I didnt blame her.  Banana popsicles always make me feel better too.  As the day went on though she was in more and more pain.  I dont even remember what we did that day.  That evening though she wasnt feeling good at all.  I dont remember if I drove her or not.  I cant believe I dont remember that.  I just remember being at the hospital and Aunt Sue, Aunt Mimi, and Aunt Linda were there.  Thats when we found out the tumor was back. As the doctor put it "it was back with a vengeance".  Ok no big deal.  We just try new chemo and cut it out again.  Its just going to be a harder fight now.  Oh and how she fought.  I remember her making it a point to get released from the hospital in time to go to Aunt Sues church for some healer.  I have her prayer cloth still.  I miss you Mom.  I hope you are proud of what I have become and the life I am living.  I know I may not do all the right things in your eyes, but my life is pretty good.  I just wish you were here.