Grandpa

As I sit here thinking about tomorrow, I remember 3 years ago.  I remember the nurse telling Grandma to go ahead and go home and get some rest that nothing was going to happen for awhile.  It was also Johns birthday.  I felt so bad for him to be spending his birthday at hospice waiting for Grandpa to die.  I always knew that I had a special bond with Grandpa, but didnt really realize the bond my cousins had with him until that day.  I saw the same sadness in Johns eyes as I felt.  Even talking to John I could hear the sadness.  Sadness that I felt.  I felt like I lost a dad.  Grandpa had been there for me for so many things.  What was I going to do without him?  Who was I going to turn to?  The pain of losing him was almost as bad as losing my mom.  My mom.  I know she was there waiting for him and he went to her and hugged her tightly.  He was with his baby girl again.  The sadness in his eyes was gone now.

Happy Birthday Kevin

Today you would have been 29.  So much has happened since you died.  The kids miss you.  We miss you.  Your mom has such a sadness in her eyes.  I wish there was something I could do to make it go away, but I know theres not.  Yesterday you would have found out Michelle is pregnant.  I know how much you loved all your nieces and nephews, and I have no doubt you would have loved this news.  Im sure you would have had a few smartass things to say about Shawn becoming a dad.  The news yesterday made me thrilled for them, but sad.  I know what a great uncle you were to my kids and Loris girls.  You loved them all.  It makes me sad that the kids will grow up without you.
Saturday is your party.  You know Ryan B will have it every year.  We will never forget you.  You will always be a part of our life no matter what.

Happy Birthday Kevin.  I hope you are partying with your dad today.  Watch over us Saturday as we celebrate you.

Where were you?

This coming Sunday will mark the 10 year anniversary that we were attacked at the World Trade Towers.  That is a day I will never forget.  While I am not from New York, and have never even been there, the attacks affected everyone.  I was not directly affected.  I did not know anyone there.  I did not know anyone that knew someone there even.  I was just a person sitting on my couch watching the news that day when the tragedy unrolled before our eyes.

That day had started like any other day.  Woke up with Anthony who was only 3 months old at the time, and turned the TV on to watch the news.  Mom had gotten up at some point and was watching it with me.  It was our little routine.  We would watch the news every morning.  I loved watching WGN out of Chicago.  When the first plane hit I remember them saying that something flew into one of the Towers.  I went to the kitchen to finishing making my bagel when my mom said "OH MY GOD!" The second Tower was just hit.  Clearly it was not an accident.  We were under attack.  We watched in horror as the smoke poured from the towers.  You could see people jump from the building.  I was in shock.  I could not believe we were actually witnessing this.  As the day would unfold we would learn of another plane going down.  One in Pennsylvania. We would later learn the intended destination of that plane was the White House.  Only the passengers on that plane fought back.  If it wasnt for them the terrorists would have hit the White House.

Its a day that is etched in history forever.  My kids will learn all about that day.  They will ask me where I was and what I was doing on that day.

So....where were you on that day that America changed?